Im at strip club and am horny
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
