I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
