That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
