His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
