I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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