i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
