New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
