Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you win again, gameday.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize