I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
