God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
