dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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