please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
