Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
