She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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