where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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