Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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