this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
