It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize