Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Need sex. Gaining weight.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize