Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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