That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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