So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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