What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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