I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
