I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
