I need help removing her.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
