Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
