Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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