You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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