How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
