You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
