Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
