The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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