Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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