You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
