I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
