i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
