I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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