I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize