i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize