if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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