Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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