You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
