My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
