For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
