so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize