She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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