Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
