what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
