It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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