i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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