in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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