can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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