you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
