But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
