Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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