Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
