i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
