i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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