That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
